You Got 300 Million Mice in Your Pocket?

What do you mean, “we”?  Election Day.  It’s not only the day we decide, it’s the day every tired media hack gets to drone incessantly that it’s the day “We Decide.”

But who is this “We”?  The unhappy truth is that the vast majority of us decided long ago.  Maybe in our teenage years, maybe in a late 20s or early 30s conversion / awakening, but most of us decided long ago.  In America today there are three camps.

“Democrats” are the 45% of Americans who expect free ponies and lollipops from the government, or are in charge of dispensing said ponies and lollipops.

“Republicans” are the 45% of Americans tasked with funding the government distribution of ponies and lollipops.

“Independents” or “Undecided Voters” are the remaining 10% of Americans who figure that what they pay in taxes to fund ponies and lollipops will roughly equal the value of the ponies and lollipops they receive, so the whole thing’s pretty much a wash.  And besides the Kardashians are on and an iPhone 6 might be for sale soon.

Romney will win if we elect him.  We will elect him if:

1.   A sufficient number of Democrat are so disillusioned by Obama’s failure to deliver even prettier ponies and tastier lollipops despite a Democrat controlled Congress for two years (or in the case of medical ponies, to cruelly and unjustifiably delay the delivery of said ponies until 2014) that they fail to drag themselves to the polls.

2.  A sufficient number of Republicans are alarmed at the skyrocketing balance on the country’s credit card that they step in to restore order.

3.  Just enough Independents / Undecideds form the vague impression, that hey, gas and food seem to be getting awfully expensive, and maybe that guy in charge has something to do with it.

Go us!

About Conrad

Conrad O'Connor is the nom de web of a tax lawyer working in Atlanta, Georgia.
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